Clif McKinley Dot Com

“You broke the bonds, And you loosened the chains

Carried the cross, Of all my shame, all my shame

You know I believe it, But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for”

Still Haven’t Found What I’m LookingFor – U2-The Joshua Tree

Many of you do not know a lot about me.  I tend to be a very measured and guarded person.  I don’t where my feelings on my sleeve.  Most people have to guess what I am thinking.  But I live most of my life very frustrated.  This is something God has placed inside of me, at least I believe that it is Him.  From the time I accepted the call of God and began walking the path of serving Him with my whole heart and life, I have had a desire to see the Church function as God intended.  I believe the local church is the hope of the world.  I believe local congregations can greatly impact the communities in which they are and bring about true revolution.  I believe with all my heart that Jesus did not die to start a religion, but a Spiritual Revolution!  I believe He stepped into human history to change things.

I have been frustrated for as long as I can remember because I don’t see this happening.  I see a lot of business as usual in the Church.  It is very easy to fall into comfortable patterns, to try and protect the bottom line, to play it safe.  But when I look at the life of Jesus, He never played it safe!  My goal is not to build a mega-church, but I am desperate to be apart of a church the is effective and makes an impact.  I live in the tension of what is and what I know should and could be.

I am keenly aware that I am not like most pastors.  I know I see the world and the church very differently than most of my peers.  I know I am very much out of place in the church culture of New England.  This only adds to my frustration.  I would fit in better at Lifechurch.tv or Newspring or Northpoint.  But God hasn’t seen fit to place me there, for now He has placed me here.  And I struggle to ministry as I feel God would have me to do it.

I have spent the last 7 years transitioning this church from a traditional church into a more culturally relevant and  community focused church.  A church that leads people to passionately love God, genuinely love one another, and practically love the world.  This has been a very hard road.   I have angered many, many have left the church.  For 7 year it has felt like 1 step forward and 2 steps back.  I’d like to think we are making progress but some days it doesn’t feel that way.  For as much progress as we have made I still feel we have so far to go.

It is such a challenge to move people to feel as I feel; see as I  see; and to want what I want.

The Bible tells us not to grow weary in well doing, but I have to admit, I’m feeling very weary.  So this me, pulling back the curtain a little, just being honest.  Please pray for me.

Thanks

I have had some folks come and share with me what God did for them Sunday and I want share some of them:

“God used the message Sunday to change my heart and I have to fix some relationships in my life”

“”Everyone I invited came and they all loved it and want to start coming every week”

“I found a church home”

“I didn’t know church could be this much fun”

“There are so many normal people here, I didn’t expect that, I feel like I could fit in”

“This is great so great, I love it here”

“I feel like I can be myself here, this is so cool”

“I’ve only been coming a few weeks and it has been a hard year for me, but the last few weeks have made a real difference, thank you for welcoming me”

These are some of the comments and emails I have received, so what have you heard?

…It is a necesity!

Sadly we think that failure is not an option, when it is really a necessity.  If we are afraid to fail we will be afraid to even try new things.  Life, ministry, almost everything involves a level of risk, taking a chance, getting out there in the scary places.  It has been said, “if we aren’t failing, we aren’t trying.”  That is all too true.  I think many times we fail our way to success.

I’ve made many blunder as a public speaker.  When I was first starting out I was scared of looking bad, until that fateful day that I got up to preach and said everything I had to in 2 minutes and then paced back and forth saying “praise God, Amen, Glory to God” for the next 20 minutes.  CRASH AND BURN BABY!!!!  I am at the point now that I have embarrassed myself enough times to try anything when I am speaking.  This has freed me to be more creative and more bold.  It took a lot of failures, really bad messages, and vocal gaffs to get to this point.  I’ve failed my way to a level of success as a communicator.

We have taken stabs at different events that didn’t work.  Classes that didn’t work.  Programs that didn’t work.  As a result we have a better handle on what does work in our local context.  I call that a win.  As John Maxwell says “we have been failing forward.”  In the last 6 year as the lead pastor @ Lighthouse I have had many miss steps but each one has become a stepping stone to greater growth ad success for the church.

How about you?  Have you been failing forward?  Or do you feel that failure is not an option and you won’t even try until your sure you will get it right?

Ok everyone, we have been working our way through the “Experiencing God” series and yesterday was an very simple, but very important message. Yesterday we dealt with the fact that “God is ALWAYS @ work around us” and my challenge to everyone was to pray this prayer for a week and then share with us what God reveals to you and the opportunities that He gives you.

Here is the prayer:

“God you are always at work around me, give me the eyes to see it, and the wisdom to get in on it.”

I look forward to hearing your experiences!

I must have been delusional, I mean after all I have the background, the experience, the chops, you would think that I would qualify . I mean I have been playing guitar for 23 years, I have played in a few different bands, I have shared the stage with some amazing people, I have played all over the Northeast, performed before 1,ooo’s, I have recorded my own music as well as been featured on other people projects, I have met lot of famous musicians, I have even signed a few autographs in my day. You would think that in my house I would be The Real Rockstar………but I am not, in my house the Real Rockstar is My Wife! She is amazing is so many ways, but what makes her the Real Rockstar is the fact that she mops the floor with me in Guitar Hero!!!!!

You would think that I could destroy her at this, after all I play guitar, I know how to play so many of the songs for real, you would just assume that I would rock, but I DON’T and Ange really does. So I admit it to the world, my wife Ange is the Real Rockstar!

I’m going to crack the shell a little. In this series of posts I am hoping to let everyone have a look into my head, heart, past, etc. These will probably be “Stream of Consciousness” type posts, because that is what it is like inside my head, so if it gets a little crazy and confusing I apologize but please enjoy the ride. So here we go:

For those who didn’t know I was born in the sunny south, West Palm Beach FL. If you have seen my son Maddox, you are looking at a carbon copy of me as a child, poor kid, everyday he gets to see what he is going to look like when he gets old, too bad. Anyway, my Dad came to faith the year I was born. The folks are from opposite ends of the world, Dad is from LA, the one with swamps, not the one with the celebrities, well Britney is a celebrity but she left Dad’s LA and and moved to the other one. Still with me? Mom is from the Bronx NY, they met in the Navy. I love our Military and even if you don’t agree with the war, SUPPORT THE TROOPS. And after Dad got home from Vietnam they were stationed in Pensacola FL, where my older brother was born. I came along two years later, it was that year that my Mom bought my Dad a guitar, an Epiphone acoustic, two crazy/awesome things that have forever impacted my life. Looking back those tow things, my Dad’s salvation and my Dad’s guitar, have both changed the course of my life forever. They have had a profound impact on me becoming the man that I am. The tattoos on my body even reflect those two things. Salvation and song forever entwined. Almost 35 five years have past since then, I still have the guitar, it is sitting in the corner just a few feet from me (although it is no longer playable thanks to my brothers who sat on it while wrestling a few years back) and I have a faith of my own. Cool.