Vision will always cost you something. Sleepless nights, hours in prayer, the stretching of your faith, and many times it will cost you members and money, and that is when the rubber meets the road.
The past five years have cost me dearly. Transitioning an existing church into one that is life giving and culturally relevant has posed many challenges. Being more contemporary with music forced some out the door, topical teaching in series that is relevant to both the churched and the outsider sends others to the door, before for long you have said goodbye to friends and faithful givers. In the last nine months it has happen a few times and when the church only runs 100 or less every one who leaves is noticed. Which causes some to question why are good people leaving, which causes them to question your leadership, yeah vision costs, in more ways then one.
All the while you feel completely inadequate and often very alone. I am a good teacher but not always a good communicator, I am a visionary and creative person, but not always a good leader or manager. Most days I feel like I am out of place, that what I want see for the church is not what they see or ever want for themselves. I believe in the potential of Lighthouse but I wonder how far they are willing to go and what price they are willing to pay. I have sacrificed so much over the last 12 years serving this church. Some days it would be easier just to walk away, to accept the offers and start over somewhere else, but then something happens…unchurched friends decide to start attending, a group come over from another church and suddenly there is hope.
The vision has cost me a lot and I know I still have more to pay, I soldier on hoping that other will begin to see what I see. So I count the cost and keep going.